7 months

We often take moments to think about how thankful we are to have Emmett with us, to hold him in our arms, to see him look into mummy’s eyes when he is nursing, to see him staring right back at us, and to see him develop into a beautiful but messy little 7 month old boy. It may seem odd to celebrate a 7th month birthday but with Emmett we celebrate every month, on the 14th, always with a cake and candles. During Emmett’s recovery in hospital, a very comprehensive research paper was shared with us to give us a better understanding of Emmett’s specific procedure and his prognosis. Transposition of the Great Arteries (TGA) is one of the most common congenital heart defects, but only ten percent of TGA babies have an intramural coronary artery. It is rare. Over the last 20 years at SickKids Hospital, there were only eight other babies with TGA and intramural coronary artery that required a rescue procedure like Emmett, and three of them did not survive past six months. Intramural coronary arteries can have such devastating consequences because of its complex anatomy. The coronary arteries are the main arteries supplying oxygenated blood to the heart muscle , which is the pumping lifeforce we all require, and don't notice at all, unless it doesn't work. A newborns heart is the size of a walnut and the coronary arteries, which are intertwined on the surface of the walnut are 1 mm thick or the size of thick thread. Now wrap the 1 mm thread like coronary arteries through the walls of the walnut so that they hide under the surface and now we are starting to get close to the complexity of intramural coronary arteries. Now imagine a life or death situation where you use a scalpel to carefully dissect these hidden threads off the walnut so that they can be transplanted back into the correct anatomical location. The short answer is, we can't. We can't imagine it because it is as ridiculous as it sounds.

During the course of Emmett's hospital stay we were kept informed about what we could expect moving forward. The meetings were super informative, but information overload. I was fully down the rabbit hole of the techno-babble-speak of ultrasound vessel calibers, turbulence, flow velocity and charts, but I was brought back to earth by Thu asking, will my son be ok? Understandably, it is a difficult question to answer because this condition is so rare. What stood out to us during this meeting was “six months”. The charts showed that other babies with similar conditions mostly all survive if they get past six months. Six months. At the time it felt like six months was unattainable, with no light or clarity to think so far into Emmett’s future. And now here we are, at 7 months, and a world away from the cloudy, white noise of uncertainty, to being able to see clearly. Even though Emmett is past 6 months, there are no promises into the future, and we take nothing for granted, so we celebrate the small moments. And did I mention every month we get to eat cake.

Red velvet cake (Daddy’s favourite) for Emmett at three months.

These days, moments with Emmett are amazing, wonderful and in the present. We watch him smile, looking at us with his deep dark big round eyes and it melts our hearts. We watch him play and discover the world around him. His hands seem to soothe his soul and he can munch on them for what seems like hours. They are his window to the world and it makes our heart beam to see him play, grab, squeeze the things he loves, including us. He has also discovered his feet and they also go into his mouth. Thank goodness he has not picked up the taste of other people's feet...yet. We watch him taste and explore food for the first time, and cherish his little noises when he is enjoying his meal “hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmm” like a polite agreeable acknowledgement of his delicious mushy meat and veg smoothie.

All his little milestones feel monumental but also expected. Like his Occupational Therapist says; of course he can roll over, and sit up to play on his own, of course he babbles and makes cute motorboat noises with his lips and of course he’s starting to get stranger danger, he’s a ‘normal’ 7 month old. We can sometimes get so lost in the pure joy of these moments that it can be possible to ‘forget’ what he has been through. We will always have visual reminders from the scars on his chest, and as we see it, he will wear his scars like an embattled warrior. As he grows so will his scar tissue, showing the world his bravery and never letting us forget. But seeing Emmett flourish gives us the fleeting gift of ‘forgetting’, to be in the moment, to love him as he is now and nothing else matters. And that is what we are truly thankful for.

We love you to infinity Emmett.

Happy 7 months bubba.